Thursday, April 21, 2011
This IS the year
I say it every goddamn year. But really, every fucking year all I can think about is how the winners just have everything break right for them. and how everthing, and I mean EVERYTHING, goes bad for us. But guess what?! This year everything is going right! Our injuries are minor! Our youngsters are delivering on their promise like no sane person expected! And we hit the random scrap heap lottery with Brandon Mccarthy! Im telling you, it just feels different. Even if the record doesnt reflect it yet, this team is fucking good, and so far at least, we seem to have been lucky as well. I cant describe how jealous of the Giants and their fans I was this last fall, this has got to be our year.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Well that was a Fail
The last post was supposed to be a motivator. Didn't work. New quarter, got a test on thursday, havent studied still. I dunno what Im doing. I dunno what im going to do. What I do know is that I need to be done with school. Which I am afraid of, i dont wanna leave here. its a weird situation, a large part of my life is down here now, and with every passing day im realizing im going to have to leave it behind. i dont want to, i try to devise crazy plans that will get me to stay down here, but what it just isnt realistic.
when i graduated high school i was depressed, more or less. thankfully, im not anymore, but im starting to get a similar feeling. im happy, yet theres this weight on my mind that keeps dragging me down. i think its just nerves. it might just be that i dont give a fuck anymore. well not entirely true, i give a semi-fuck. i know! its uncertainty about the future. back then i wanted to get to know myself better and improve myself as a person. on that front i think i actually did ok. but the point is i didnt want to think of the future because i had no idea what it looked like, i was afraid. SAME NOW. afeared! wtf am i going to do! its just this time there is no plan. i had college before, now i have nothing. my whole fucking life starts now. and i really dont feel like im ready for it. i basically failed at life. i was too lazy, i squandered my talents, i never took any initiative. im 21 and i have no real future. im nothing, and am set up for nothing. really wish i had a reset button.
when i graduated high school i was depressed, more or less. thankfully, im not anymore, but im starting to get a similar feeling. im happy, yet theres this weight on my mind that keeps dragging me down. i think its just nerves. it might just be that i dont give a fuck anymore. well not entirely true, i give a semi-fuck. i know! its uncertainty about the future. back then i wanted to get to know myself better and improve myself as a person. on that front i think i actually did ok. but the point is i didnt want to think of the future because i had no idea what it looked like, i was afraid. SAME NOW. afeared! wtf am i going to do! its just this time there is no plan. i had college before, now i have nothing. my whole fucking life starts now. and i really dont feel like im ready for it. i basically failed at life. i was too lazy, i squandered my talents, i never took any initiative. im 21 and i have no real future. im nothing, and am set up for nothing. really wish i had a reset button.
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