Wooo Transfer Apps...and somehow evolves into depression, typical

So I started a free response essay today. One of the tips said, "Be real, try to sound like yourself" or something along those guidelines, so I just opened up and started to let the thoughts come forth. Here's what I did after these few inspiring words:

I feel as if I have chosen the path of failure; the major of mediocrity if you will. I get three simple reactions out of people when I mention that I am a linguistics major. The first, the one I dread the most, is the condescending but outwardly encouraging, "Good for you!" Then there is the response from people who actually care about me, the semi-outraged, "What kind of job can you get with that?" And last, my favorite response, the most honest and heartfelt response this major can afford me, "What the hell is linguistics?"
I did not choose linguistics in order to impress others, and I abandoned my childhood ambitions of becoming a billionaire when I decided on this career path. I chose linguistics because it is of incredible interest to me, moreso than any other subject I have encountered so far. My interest does not stem from some

And there it is. You'll notice it stops mid sentence. I just realized, this essay sucks, its not doing me any favors in terms of convincing anyone to let me in. My plan was to open with this kind of sad start talking about how I'm a monolingual kid in an area full of multilingual people, and swing it positive to how I found my calling in linguistics and the opportunities it provides me to understanding this topic I've become interested in over the course of my life. The prompt by the way is why you chose your major. And if you want 100% honesty, I only chose a major so that I could apply to other universities. Yes I am very interested in linguistics, and yes I would say there is more than a 50% chance of me sticking with it, but I still really have no idea of what I want to do in life. I mean yea linguistics interests me, but I don't want to bottle myself so soon. What if there is something that I like even more, what if there's something out there that I'm actually good at.
If you want real, I don't think my college transcript is impressive at all. These essays are like, my trump cards for getting in. I really need to put a ton of thought into them. I also really want to invoke a ton of pity from my reader. Like mass amounts, so that they may forget my bad grades from spring quarter last year. I intend to do this by incorporating family into an essay. Because holy shit if my family hasn't gone to shit over these last two years. My biggest problem though (and this is one mammoth of a fucking problem) is that I have no positive spin for these problems. Have I come out stronger for these family problems? Have I become a more complete person? Am I more independent? I'm not sure of any of these. All I know is my grandpa died during my first round of college apps, my mother straight up disappeared to her hometown for a few weeks and came back severely depressed, and then a year later my dad loses his mind and ends up in the crazy house. You tell me how I should feel positive about that. You want to know real truth? It scares the shit out of me to be related to these people! You don't know how many hours I've spent thinking about this, knowing that the blue prints for my mental health are clearly faulty.
I don't know what to do now. It's getting to be like senior year, where I was just pegging everything on college, telling myself everything would work out fine. It clearly didn't, and if it doesn't work out this time, I really do not want to think about it. The more I live the more I begin to see how horrible this world really is. How lonely we are, how misleading we are of ourselves. This whole college process has done nothing but prove this to me. And what saddens me the most is that there is no end in site. What are friends. What is family. Merely labels. Labels to help us keep moving forward. It's sick really. We all have this sense of loyalty in our heads, but does it actually exist? At one moment perhaps, at a different not at all. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just an overly pessimistic person. I'll end this here, I intended this post to give me a different perspective on my essay. Some how morphed back into gloom. Should have expected that. Man now I gotta change the title. And how do I file this post. Academics? hoho my first multi-topic post. what a dilemma.