HAH!

So Fremont is officially out the window then. So what happens now. Wolff says in there he wants to keep the team in the bay, and I actually half believe him since he does seem connected to the area. Southern area at least. Spring training been goin on, not much exciting happenings yet tho. Still pretty boring, I'm just kind of waiting for WBC to get underway at this point. Not much else piquing my interest on the baseball front.

Chinese portraiture, on the other hand, is on my mind. Apparently I'm a prodigy at this stuff. OK maybe not, but I got my midterm back today an it was A+. That's A+ on the only test we had an now A+ on the midterm. I'd say that is not bad. So now I'm not sweatin the essay due thursday, even though I have no idea what I need to do for it. Ya, this class is damn joke-ish. I won't complain, I guess, if it provides a free GPA boost. Prbly get my japanese midterm back tomorrow. That one I ent too sure about, it was kind of difficult this time around. We'll see though. Sytnax has been pretty fuckin hard. I got a "fairly good" on what amounts to a takehome midterm. "Fairly good," I'm assuming, is B work. It's really retarded, they refure to give out letter grades in that class. My grades flucuate a ton too. One moment I'm scroing "excellents" like nothing, then I'm gettin "unsatisfactories" everytime. I'm hoping it averages out to maybe B work, and then the santa cruz factor kicks in an I get a A. Santa Cruz factor is my edge. I've come to realize that if I am struggling in a class, everyone is at least at my level or below, meaning the curve pretty much always helps me out. It's awesome and deperessing at the same time. Awesome knowing that I kick ass at this school, depressing knowing that I actually go to this school. Well enough of this, I've wasted enough time. Back to studying, right? Yeeeea, I dunno how many times a day I tell myself that.

Maybe magic?

Hot streaks. What the Hell are hot streaks. You know what I mean, when everything is working, comes naturally, effortless. These hot streaks are applicable to everything, they happen everywhere. It's true, think about it, sometimes things are just easy. So what interests me, not so much why these things happen (maybe they don't, maybe it just feels like they do), why don't they happen all the time. The ability is there, how come it isn't always turned on. Maybe you guessed it, I'm totally procrastinating art history right now. Worst class ever, but still, I think this is a valid topic of...pursuing I guess. I feel like this kind of hot streaks do exist, just cause I feel like I've experienced them, but at the same time my analytical side is skeptical that such a thing exists. I mean, why can't I tap into this hidden ability at will. Maybe it's just a mixture of increased focus/confidence and a touch of randomness. I dunno. Mystery. Slightly frustrating too I might add, but I guess I shouldn't let these kind of things bug me.

So change of topic, time to go to gripe mode about trivial things that I can't help but let bug me. My internet has been totally gay the last few days. Dies, stays away for a few hours, come back for like 5 min, then dies again. Called the university help ppl, dude had me do some trickies, worked fairly well. Of course now the same problem is back. I've got a warning right now that posting may not work since it seems contact with the site is dead. Great. Santa Cruz is run by idiots. No, it isn't an ideal spot to set up a network, but the incompetence shown here is inconcievable for an establishment such as this, this being a huge public university. I mean I constantly have internet failure here. Plus my apartment doesn't get any wireless...at all. I bought a new ethernet cable from the bookstore here, since mine is super short, it broke within a week after I bought it. The little plastic pushy thing snapped off an the cable was stuck in the wall. My roommate unwisely ripped it out, thank god he didn't rip a hole in the wall. Tiring of this place quickly. First quarter wasn't too bad, classes were interesting. Now, my classes are losing my interest, and my roommates are starting to bug me. Quite a bit. But whatever, only for a few more monthes.

PSP Restraint

I'm thinking something I shouldn't be thinking. I see the new DSi and I want it. Obviously. It's awesome. And I can half justify it. My L button on my current DS only works maybe one in every 7 pushes. It can be frustrating. But then I realize, I can buy a PSP for the same price. This I have no way to justify. The last thing I should be doing right now is buying yet another console. Another console means my game library potential expands yet again. Sad fact though, I've already made a "Games I will buy if I ever get a PSP" list. So yea, I'm pretty resigned to the fact that I'm gonna snatch up a PSP sometime in the future. Basically, I really want the new Prinny game, and I really want Dissidia when it comes out. So earliest I would get one is when Dissidia comes out, maybe they'll do a nice little package deal to move units. It's bad though. My list of games to buy is insane. Here I'll post:

viewtiful joe 2
star ocean III
devil may cry 2
sword of mana/children of mana/dawn of mana
oracle of seasons/...that other one by capcom...
zelda: 4 swords
xenosaga 3
pikmin 2
Katamari Damacy...or that sequel i think they made
rayman raving rabids
pokemon wii
geometry wars galaxies
castlevanias ds's
mario kart wii/ds*
harvest moon wii (let the price drop)
Final Fantasy XII (ds)*
Luminous arc (ds)
disgaea (ds)*
muramasa: the demon blade*
RE: kingdom hearts chain of memories
onimusha essentials
persona 4*
Dragon quest V (ds)
ikaruga (gc)
god hand*

PS3:
ratchet and clank
dynasty warriors 6
devil may cry 4*
disgaea 3*
front office manager
little big planet (6 hours of content...$20 at most)
eternal sonata
SF4*
RE5*

Games to watch:
bleach: dark souls (ds)
knights in the nightmare (ds)

If I ever get a psp:
Prinny: can I really be the hero?*
crisis core: FFVII
MGS: portable ops, acid 1/2
FF tactics: war of the lions*
(?)Jeanne d'Arc
(?)Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth

Told you it was long. To be fair, a lot of these games I probably will never get. The first huge clump mostly is made of sequals that I had interest in at one time but probably am to cheap to pick up. Actually, I'm gonna go back and star games that I consider prioritized. So the starred ganes are inevitables, I'm gonna buy an play those first.

Hmm, I think I'm probably a bit too into J-RPGs. Though there is a bit more variety than I would have expected. I do not remember what the games in the "to watch" section are. That's probably why I stuck them there. Muramasa ent there cause I'm completely sold on it already. Same with RE5. So yea, that's quite a bit of money I would have to dish out. But heres the thing, I have a million games I still need to play. Ton of games I just never got around to finishing: metroid prime 3, no more heroes, odin sphere, FF tactics A2, the world ends with you, advance wars, devil may cry 3, xenosaga 2. Well, I know theres a ton more, I won't bother to list the gc games, that could be endless. Point being, I have a ton of games, I don't play them with anything resembling the frequency of which I used to, but I still want to buy at the same pace, if not a greater pace. Handhelds I might convince myself is ok, since I can take them to school (fergot my DS at home though last weekend, of course I get a fiending for my DS games now), but dropping somthin like $200+ for a PSP and games seems a bit frivolous, especially since I'm not too far removed from my big ps3 purchase. Guh, I know competition is necessary and all for assurance of quality and such, but it really hurts my wallet. Sooo, what have I concluded. I want a PSP. I have a tendency to hoard unbeaten games, though the legnth of my list shows I do have a tiny bit of restraint when it comes to impulse buys. Dissidia will probably dissapear that bit of restraint as if it weren't ever there.

Fucking Night and Day

Seriously, I got something like 3 hours sleep last night. Goddamnit. Basically cancels out the 15 hour marathon the day before. I feel dead tired. Though on the positive, I've somehow managed to keep the cold in check, I actually feel better today than I did yesterday. That will obviously reverse if I don't get reasonable rest tonight, but still, being young is fucking awesome.

ahahahaahhaha

I set my alarm for 9 oclockers today, I had the intention of waking up and going to class. That didn't happen, I woke up feeling like crap. I went back to sleep, figuring a few more hours would do my health some good. 7 hours later I somehow managed to roll out of bed. I got something like 15 hours of sleep last night. Insane. Problem is, I have a butt load of work due tomorrow, still haven't started. Still semi-sick too, don't feel much like working. Really, what sounds appealing right now is busting out the DS and doing that til I fall back asleep. It's crazy but I am still kinda tired. ooo well. may as well start, I'm not the kind of student teachers give extensions to.

Sickers

poop. Mikio is sick. cold, maybe a light fever. I always manage to get sick when I go home. Sucks though, can't focus for shit. Have some big assignments due wednesday, gonna just try and sleep a lot tonight, hope I can motor through it all tomorrow. Other than that nothing new. Mindless grind of the school year continues!

May as well learn

Damn...I...well...guh...damnit. Just, damnit. On a more positive note, I think I see my problem, but fuck man. Damnit.

Steroid rant

I really really really detest fans who get all hysterical about steroids in baseball. They act so morally superior, demonizing these talented athletes. To be honest, I don't really blame any of the ball players who took steroids.

Can anyone honestly say that they haven't cheated in order to win at something? I do it all the time. I hide cards. I cover peoples eyes. I always make sure to sit next to the banker in monopoly. Seriously, people just do not pay attention to the bank money, its basically a free win. and I love winning, a lot. But that is just me being competitive, imagine these ballplayers, winning is their job. And don't give me the "but this is cheating with millions of dollars on the line" argument. That's bullshit, I would feel even more compelled to cheat if that were the case. If you're being payed that kind of money, would you feel satisfied to go out there everyday and have your loyal fans watch you lose? The answer can only be no. These guys will do anything it takes to win, and really, they do it for us, the fans, as much as themselves.

But most of this is meaningless anyway. The fact of the matter is, who the hell didn't know mcgwire was on steroids when he went on his 71 tear? I was a kid and I assumed it to be true. It wasn't any kind of secret or anything. Steroids were legal, it sure didn't seem right, but there was nothing against them. Maybe its cause I grew up an A's fan but I didn't give a shit, mcgwire was the man, he hit a shit load of homers. Did the steroids help him do it? Maybe they did. Truth is we don't even know if they do help ballplayers. With all the damn warnings people give out about steroids you'd think they actually hurt your play. But no one cared about the effects. People liked watching homeruns being launched at unprecedented rates.

Of course, after spending the time to give this rant a physical form, I will conceded there should not be any steroids in baseball. Yes, cheating is wrong, and steroids are considered cheating in todays game. Watching players compete with their own develpoed talents and stregnth is what makes watching baseball great, and throwing steroids into the wring does cheapen the experience. But my opinion still stands unwavered, these guys like bonds and mcgwire and a-rod, they only wanted to win, and I can't find it in my heart to blame them for that.

Are We Defined By Our Suffering?

The more I read history, the more it seems to be the general sentiment. This person suffered, his/her story is worth recounting. I dislike this view. Suffering may be an important part of human existence, but it isn't necessarily important just because its painful. Call me heartless, but I don't care about all the sob-stories history has to offer. I can appreciate courage or somthing like that, but the endless suffering and cruelty bugs me. I get that people suck. I dunno. I'd like to make this post more thoughtful but I needa get back to my readings. Fucking portraiture midterm tomorrow morning, and yes, I'm starting studying tonight. Honestly, I might not be sleeping tonight, there is a shit load of material I need to cover/memorize. Never take a class on chinese portraiture. Its boring material and the art is pretty damn mediocre (seriously, the most famous artists we've learned so far werent chinese...they were nepalese and italian...yea...china fucking sucks at drawing). Doesn't help that my instructor is a fucking idiot. Maybe that's unfair, but she is 100% clueless on how to teach a course. Add on top of that her english being, well, far from fluent, and you have one nightmare of a class.

Yaaay boring deals

Lot of relief issues I haven't really stopped to think about. Springer an Wuertz in, Brown out. That makes me kind of sad, I liked andrew brown, he threw really hard, and its fun watching people throw really hard. But sure, I like the bullpen depth. It's cheap too, so you can't complain about low risk marginal upgrades. I thought I would have more to say but thats really about it. Pretty boring. Still a few orlando cabrera rumors floatin around. Wonder how much he wants though, hopefully cheapers. Really cheap actually, not like 2nd round picks arnt worth anything. Useless speculation though. I'm not all that oppsed to crosby startin at short now though, seeing as how the other options really arn't any better. I like how the team is shaping up though. The pen is very good and the lineup is damn solid. The hardest part to predict is the rotation, but theres massive amounts of upside there. I'm liking this team a lot actually, now that I'm looking at it. Should be fun to watch.