Identity Ramble

I did some random survey today. My cousin sent it to me, some academic survey for multiracial adults. Didn't think much of it (aside from the $50 random giveaway I get entered into) until I actually started checking boxes, and I got kinda, I dunno, disturbed. I haven't figured out anything when it comes to my racial identity. Same story with me since, well, ever. Some of the questions just kind of nailed exactly what I feel in my heart, you know, and it felt kind of shitty. What really interested me though, was that most of the questions were phrased as though I was one unique race. Like, as if hapa is a race. I've always identified as half or hapa, but never really thought of that as a race. I am two, very very distinct, races. A question like, "I feel ashamed of my race" with boxes disagree, slightly disagree, slightly agree, etc., I wasn't sure at all how to answer. Like how do I answer that. What the hell is my race. I'm a proud Japanese American. I kind of shy away from my Jewish heritage. The two are apples and oranges. The thought that I am my own unique race has seriously never gotten within a million yards of my mind. I was glad I did the study though. The fact that quite a few of the questions hit so close to my own worries feels like proof that I am far from the only one who struggles the way I do with my racial identity. It's nice knowing you're not alone in the world, ya?