MGS4

So I got it and finished it. Too easy. Wasn't really a fan of the whole over the shoulder shooting. Wasn't a fan of the whole constantly changing location. Wasn't a fan of pretty much ditching all the classic gameplay mechanics. Wasn't a fan of a lot of things. Don't get me wrong though, great game, just I was hoping for a little bit more from a metal gear solid game. In the past games playing was the awesome part, the cutscenes were just fun ways to advance the story. This game just felt like playing a movie. It was fun, I enjoyed the movie quite a bit, but I went in wanting to play an awesome game, so I'm coming out a bit disappointed. But it wrapped up the series fantastically, threw in quite a bit of nostalgia for the old games, and yes, the cutscenes were absolutely top notch. It is kind of amazing how crazy the ps3 graphics are. So now it is on to valkyria chronicles. Another $60 down the drain. Bah but what's money anyway, can't enjoy it unless you spend it. So far after this small sample size of gameplaying on the ps3, I'm saying the games are way to easy. I'm beating them way too fast. It's expensive to beat games too fast. Need a rpg. Something that's a time drain. If wort comes to worst I'll just get Disgaea 3, that is basically guaranteed to be a epic time drain, right? But yea, metal gear solid 4 was a good game, didn't feel like a mgs game, but still very fun nonetheless.

I Have HD Games!

So yes I have a ps3. Came in the mail yesterday, went and got resistance/HD cables today. HD gaming is amazing, resistance...not so much. It was fun at first, but just boring after a while. Now I'm questioning why I bought this game. I've always hated these generic fps games, why'd I go buy one now. Eh well I tried it out, learned I still don like these kind of formulaic game. Seriously there's just such little creativity in this game, story is pretty uninteresting, levels are decent to look at but nothing really special, I dunno just feels like another crappy mass produced war game. What really is fun is the guns. That gun that shoots bouncing bullets is so crazy. Man the spiky grenade is awesome fun too. Fucking sucks, doesn't ever hit shit, but it cracks me up for some reason. But yea, happy I have the hardware, even if the software is lacking at the moment. Figure I'll go get metal gear solid 4 after christmas. Or maybe I'll get bored tomorrow an get it. Who knows. I tell ya what though, sweet to have a bluray now. Can't wait to watch one, should be quite neat.

YES

teix gone?! if that is actually true, that makes the outlook for this season infinitely better. we might even get away with sticking crosby out there everyday now. who will tehy stick at first now you think. that article kinda speculates they might go after dunn. that would suck, but at least that means he probably playing in the field? vlad is basically their DH now right? well one of them is gonna be in the field, which is positive for us. hopefully they just dont sign dunn, actually. Wonder what moves the A's will make now. man i cannot wait for this season to start.

Scatter

Kind of a weird break so far. Been eating a ton. Like a ton a ton. It hurts almost. We had/did mochitsuki saturday, was alright. Hadn't realized, I hadn't been in two years, since we didn't do it the year grandpa died, and I guess I had finals at the time last year. Yea so that was alright, didn't really do much, but whatever. Now I'm back home, bored, stuffed, frantically playing all my games. Tryna beat them as fast as possible so I have no choice but to go buy a ps3. I'm seriously jealous of seg right now. He's totally doin the kind of trip I've promised myself I'd do when I hit my 20's or so. He's got the whole bike thing going tho, that's a little more romantic than I'm goin for. I just wanna dissapear into a foreign country for a while. Someday though. You're only young for so long right? Guh being old seems shitty. I may not be enjoying my youth, but at least I'm enjoying being young. that counts for somthing right? prbly not. disgaea is a really good game, guys. It actaully makes me chuckle even, though I enjoy childish humor like this. and seriously, its fucking endless. I've logged 60 hours and I'm nowhere near feeling accomplished. You really could play this game til you die. speaking of long legnths of time, I seriously need to shave. This happens often. I get home, stop caring, and before I know it I've got a beard. Shavings got to be up there as one of my least favorite regular things to do. its boring, its tedious, its vain, and shit its flat out dangerous. god nearly 430 now. I stay up way to late. now that im home ud think I would go to sleep earlier. Nope, bout the same time still. except since i have zero obligations i just sleep in til like 3. its not good really. heres somthing, im actually kind of excited for my sister comming home in like a week or so. havent seen her in quite a while. a year i guess, last christmas was the last time i guess. man can you imagine? what will it be like when im finally independent? will i only see my family at christmas time an such? hah fuck that would be wonderful. i always seem to be pondering the future. i think its my greatest downfall. im always thinking of the future, it makes the present hard. thinking of the present sucks tho, just makes you depressed. that unknown factor of the future makes it worthwhile to ponder. obviously the future always turns out to be shit too, but if delude yourself into thinking it might be better it makes things more fun. see what im doing here? im stalling going to bed. i don even know why. i just hate sleeping at home for some reason. something abou this place makes me want to stay up all night doing nothing. the cat does all the sleeping for me. shit it rained all day today, so the cat hasnt moved. he got up from the couch once when i fed him dinner. he knows how to live for sure. ill wrap this up here. ran out of stray thoughts. i really wish it were baseball season. im just way to fucking bored.

ps3

Sooo...I want a ps3. I started this post with the intention of writing about the winter meetings, but I realized I don't care that much about the deals right now. Yea they're interesting, but I've got no real opinions on them. What I find myself continually obsessing over is that shiny overpriced piece of machinery with the ungodly graphics.

So enter christmas time, where money comes in from multiple directions, and the lust for new gadgets is at its peak. As of this moment of typing, I'm leaning ever so slightly towards getting one this break. Honestly, I blame nintendo. What the hell happened, there's like nothing out for wii. Was so fucking spectacular that first year or so, but now it's just gimmick shit like wii music or rock band spinoffs or whatever it is they make. I think I've got one upcoming wii game on my radar (muramasa), and thas about it. So yea, depending on the level of boredom I reach, my sights are set on that damn ps3.

Alrite here's the truth, seg sent me this link, and now I can't stop thinking about how fucking awesome FFXIII is gonna be and how fucking badly I need that stupid machine. Can you blame me? That trailer is fucking awesome! Some of that is actual gameplay! WTF right?! God being a game nerd sucks, I am completely ruled by these damn companies. Well in 12 hours I'll be home, and maybe being home and finally being able to play my currently existing games will quell these ps3 thoughts. College is fucking torture man. I always told myself I'd do nothing but play games in college, o how naive I surely was.

DONE

Done with first quarter of my 2nd year. Feels so good. It wasn't my best quarter academically, but for some reason it feels like my most accomplished. It feels like I searched for my limit, but I didn't find it. It's one of the most exhilarating feelings I've ever had. Seriously my confidence is at an all time high, I'm starting to wonder how far I can actually go. My confidence before was always defiance, I couldn't accept that I was dumber than others. Right now, I feel more interested in what my abilities actually are, I'm tired of using others as measuring sticks. It's time I started guiding where my life leads. It won't happen instantly, but I really do feel like I've hit a significant turn. I could be completely wrong, I may just be imagining things, but at this moment it doesn't feel that way, so I'm gonna enjoy this while is persists.

Yay

Hohoho. Guess who beasted their history final. Felt very good about it. Answered everything quite thoroughly, and even the ones I didn't know I elegantly talked around. beasted the map portion, I memorized way too many islands that she didn't even bother putting on. The essay Q's were my biggest weakness, cause there was one I just straight didn't study, but I lucked out as the two that were my strongest turned out to be the ones on the test. All in all a very happy Mikio right now. Very happy. Haven't been this happy in a good long time. I've got to say the end of this quarter has been the best of my time at college so far. It's had the ups and downs, but a flurry of ups at the end here, an they've been good ones.

Dream

I had a nightmare last night. Seriously, its been a while since I had one. I was in my history final, and when I looked down at the paper I realized I only knew one answer on the whole test. It was completely demoralizing. I woke up feeling horrible, and then realized I've got all of today and tomorrow afternoon to cram still, you wouldn't believe the relief I felt. But what makes me the saddest about this, I actually dreamed about a poor result on an exam. That's fucking Hermione status dude. I know I'm a nerd an all but shit, this embarrasses me even. Yea, I make myself sad sometimes. On a happier note, winter meetings (i think) start tomorrow. Should be fun, hopefully doesn't destroy my studies. Yea it pretty much will destroy my studies, but hey, maybe as a result I'll dream about baseball instead. Yea I need winter break like no other...

Learn

So I'm failing. Failing at school, failing at life. I often look to the sky, open my mouth wide, and let out a shout of frustration...in my head only of course. Mostly it's just a heavy sigh towards the heavens. It makes me feel better for some reason, reminds me how small I am in this world, how little what happens to me actually matters. But I've hit a really awkward place in my life. Yea I feel like a failure, but I almost feel as if I am starting to learn from this constant failure. Cliche right? It's what it feels like though, maybe I actually am growing up. I dunno I look at some people who are like only a year older than me and I can't help but think, "goddamnit. so mature, so cool, what the fuck am i." That's right I think in all lower case. But seriously it irks me, I want to be that mature person so bad, someone who's comfortable in their own skin, someone who can be that comfortable self around others. But I do feel like I am slowly picking myself up. It's kind of like I spent my entire youth digging myself a huge hole, and somehow by randomly flailing around I've managed to find what I percieve to be as up. I could be fooling myself, it could just be straight downwards, but it feels like very slow progress. But so here's the weird part, what drove me to post this in the first place. This kind of progress I've been searching for for years now, it should make me happy or excited or somthing. But it just makes me sad right now. Maybe sad isn't the right word, it's more like regret or somthing. I should have got all this out of the way in my youth. I should have filtered all these problems out earlier in life so that I could fully enjoy who I am now. Maybe I'm just overrly emotional from no sleep last night. Don't ya just love take home finals. Shit was so hard, got to sleep at 6. History on monday, japanese on tuesday, hoping for home on wednesday. I must say this quarter has had it's ups and downs for sure. Problem is the downs felt eternal and the ups were ephemeral(totally my favorite word these days). But fuck it i'll take it, any kind of up is positive. For now I really should shelve my thoughts and study. Someday i'll laugh at myself for these kinds of posts, for now i'll just...i dunno...go be gloomy in a corner or somthing.

titles are starting to bug me

Holy crap man this final is hard. No mercy, just throw all the toughest things out here at us. I guess it's what I should have expected though. I have section for this class in about 40 minutes, but I don't know if there will be class or not since all we have to do is the final, and I'm wondering here if they are willing to answer questions we have about it. I don't really questions though, not yet at least. For the record, I hate semantics. It's pretty much the lamest/most pointless thing ever. I hope syntax is more interesting.

On to baseball. Pedroia signed a cheapy extension. I dunno what he's thinking, Boston has money to hand out, might as well take it. Giants signed renteria, at first I was skeptical about it but I kind of like the signing now. Not that big a believer in buriss, and I like how sabean is recognizing his division is garbage, may as well give it a shot. Pretty much what the A's are doing in a way. I dunno if renteria cost them picks though, if he did that would change my opinion of it probably. Really looking at it now they need a second baseman more than a shortstop. Prbly shoulda gone after hudson an let buriss do his thing at short, but whatever, at least its not manny or some other expected idiot signing. What else. Oh Vasquez to braves for Flowers and...I have no idea I never really checked what the final package was. Still don't know what ken williams is doing, maybe he'll go crazy and sign sabathia. That would make me happy actually. Apparently Khalil Greene is a cardinal now. I've always felt like khalil was some unlucky dude getting raped by petco, no statistical backing of this, that was always just my perception. I think it's the long hair, it makes you feel sorry for him for some reason. his eyes are sort of close together too, maybe that has somethin to do with it. No idea how the cards park dimensions play out, he'll prbly suck with the bat still anyway. alrite i've stalled enough, back to the final.

Good...

hmmm. Mikio is feelin good right now. Or maybe bad. Hard to tell, I've kind of been in my own world today. I think it's that ol' lack of sleep thing. Yes today was another essay day, so that means 3 hours sleep and nonstop studying, but now I can finally relax. Really, I shouldn't relax, I've a take-home final due friday that I have not started, the good student in this situation would knock out like half of it. Not me though, I'm motivated by having no time. Seriously I was way ahead on my essay today, I had like half of it done at like 1 this afternoon. So what did I do, I got lost in my thoughts while idly flipping through the textbook. And before I knew it, it was 5 an I really needed to step on the gas again. But it is done and it feels good. I'm really due for a baseball post, but nothing really exciting seems to be happening. Lots of rumors, not much action. I havent modified my site at all either, I feel lame with my plain an ugly log. Someday motivation will strike...but until then, procrastination/slackerization continues.