Computers are horrid

So my laptop makes this horrid grinding noise. It has done this for quite a while now. Tonight I finally got fed up and opened the sucker up. There's somthin caught in the fan, of this I am certain. The plan was to go in and get the sucker out. So I opened, spent maybe an hour tryin to figure out how to pry off the keyboard (turns out there are these tiny little lock buttons that are pretty much invisible), and then was completely foiled by perhaps the smallest screws known to mankind. Seriously, these things are are the most impractical pieces of shit the world has ever know. So yea, couldnt get them out, fan was peeking at me through its stupid protective metal layer, and I couldnt get to it. So anyway, I put everything back together, and the noise is gone. Miracle. But then I notice, yea the grinding is gone, but so is everyting else. So fuck, I broke the speakers somehow. So I do what any frustrated person does, I angrily shake my laptop. What happens you ask? The noise comes back. At this point I'm ready to just smash the thing and hope the warranty covers small screw rage, but just before this tragic mistake happens my speakers start to work again. wtf rite. Its definitely doing this on purpose to fuck with me. So back at square one, debating whether its worth it to send this sucker in to sony. stupid really. shoulda done this right when I got home, course I go back to school tomorrow, so sending the computer in now would be a bit inconvenient. Really am not pleased with technology at the moment.

weee San Diego

sooo SD let me in. Big ass envelope with really nothing in it. Wasn't that excited, to be perfectly honest. It makes me sad, I should be excited, but it confirms with myself that this wasn't the envelope I been waiting for, I'm once again setting my sights high. Maybe too high again. But hey, at least we got a good sign early here. Takes me back to two years ago. Which then makes me think, christ, wtf SD. I got that letter last I think. Or no, I checked it online last. I saw that berk an LA rejected me, so i was gettin scared about SD, though still confident I would get in. And then I saw I didnt. God I was shocked. That rejection pissed me off the most. Berk and LA, even though I so badly wanted to get in, deep down I was a bit afraid I wasn't good enough to get in. That thought never really crossed my mind regarding SD. So yea, getting in now doesn't really feel like an accomplishment, it feels like righting a wrong two years behind schedule. Well, if they let me in, at least I might have a shot at the other two. hopefully. guh. if only if only, right? Highschool was just such a mess. Dug myself so many holes, but I guess, with this acceptance, I've at least got a hand out of one of the bigger ones. Here we go, most uplifting thought I've had in years: I won't be at Santa Cruz next year, that much, I can be certain of.

WBC!

ICHIRO! holy crap that was amazing! that ab, fouled off so many pitches, somehow fouled off one he had no business swinging at in the first place, finally ended up with the big hit. God he's good. Freaking legend that guy. Darvish shaved off maybe ten years of my life with that 9th inning and then walking the first batter of the 10th. Was squiriming on the couch pulling my hair out. Shit he had good stuff tonight tho, fastball velocity was crazy and his slider was straight unhittable, as evidenced by the 5 k's. Iwakuma was awesome, though he needed to be pulled at the start of the 8th. Maybe starting Darvish out there in the 8th coulda avoided that nerve wracking ending, but hey, allowed Ichiro to once again show why hes pretty much the coolest person on the planet. Two straight championships! This one over korea in the final! Tell me, how can anything be better than this?

Mildy Surprised

Went better than expected. My syntax final did not turn out well. One of those do everything and learn you did it all wrong on the last problem type of deals. Didn't have the time to go back and rethink it all, so that was basically that. Hah my conclusion was horrid. I can't remember what I wrote, but given it was 7am when I did it, an I remember chuckling to myself as I did it, I'm assuming it was pretty bad.

Yea I was up til 7 studying last night. Slept til like 10. It was lucky actually, I set my alarm for 930, but i didnt wake up, but my roommate got a call at 10. My roommate is one loud motherfucker, especially when he's on the phone. It annoys the shit out of me normally, but today it without a doubt saved my ass. So I got up, hopped in and out of the shower to try an get my head workin a bit, ran down to the bookstore to pick up a bluebook, turned in my syntax final, ran back to my room to quickly review my portraits one last time, then went to the dining hall for the last 20 min to get somthin in my stomach/get jacked up on caffeine. Seriously, finals would be a billion times harder without coffee. Walked to class, gave the caffeine some time to work itself into my system. Work itself in it did, I was fairly wired for the next few hours, after the test I kinda felt like running around even though my limbs were dead tired.

But yea the test itself wasn't too bad, I kind of over studied in that I didn't know we only had to do one essay. I prepared answers to like every single essay question (there were 5 I think), but yea only had one. The comparison wasnt to bad, though I couldnt remember the title of one of the portraits. Identification I'm fairly confident on, though may have mixed up a few dates, and the spelling in the names is never safe. Vocab I was confident on, probably wrote a bit too much on that one. So yea, went better than I thought it would. Now I just got japanese at 8am tomorrow and I'm home free. So close to being done, pretty damn pleased right now.

Almost Done

Well that sucked. But honestly, I need to get over it quickly, because I have major studying to do. We'll just regroup and somehow beat cuba once again. Yea, seems like it might take a little more luck than usual. Doable tho, not all that unlike last wbc. Darvish was good, command was shaky early, and that first inning was seroiusly unlucky what with shit denesive plays and groundballs managing to slip through holes. nakajima must be hurt or somthin, theres no way these clowns start over him.

As of right now I've got maybe 100~150 pages left to read. Probably won't read em all, just scan for key terms/topics. Not great, not bad. Syntax is still fucking hard, I think I might have done the whole assignment wrong, so now I'm in that stage where I either can try to amend the crap out of my rules or just stubbornly argue why my rules are better than the actual solution that I cannot figure out. Sucks. You know what makes me smile though? Its only for tonight, in 12 hours I'll be like halfway through my portraiture finals, and then only one day away from break. Yea finals suck, but the whole getting it over with super fast thing is pretty awesome.

Hard

Holy crap this is hard. Syntax that is. I looked at it last night, seemed doable at first glance. Now I'm trying to wade through it, and holy crap, this is hard. I see the challenge they want me to deal with, but I can't exactly come up with a way to deal with the challenge. Hard to explain, trust me though, not easy. Optimistic though. The fact that I was able to quickly identify the state of the problem and what needs accounting for is promising, just how I actually solve the problem now is the difficult part. I may forfeit some portraiture study time to really make headway on this. So yea. Optimistic is a good word for this moment. Stuck in place, but optimistic.

Woo Mr. Dice-K

That nickname sucks, but yea, holy crap daisuke was on today. Was locating well an his pitches had some disgusting movement. Fastball really had some crazy movement. Was he throwing a cutter too maybe? Alright wiki says he throws a cutter, so that must have been it. That pitch had some seriously wicked break to it. Was nice to get a mph reading on the pitches today. Didnt know japan had that hard of throwers. I mean there must not ever be any runs scored in npb, seeing as how most of the hitters on the team get demolished by anything over 90.

though to be honest, I kind of like how this japanese team is set up. great pitching, great defense, hopefully balls drop in on offense. I mean, you need to get insanely lucky to win anyway, the scoring part is probably what you have the least control over. This team excels at getting the ball in play, so its gonna be a frustratingly streaky team reliant on balls finding holes. I dunno it's all luck anyway, look at the US team. Demolished by puerto rico even though the offense is amazing. Figure run prevention you can at least get a bit more consistancy on a game to game basis. Though maybe that wouldnt be the case, I guess bad days in the field happen too. Regardless, quite pleased with the victory. So now we get...let me check...Korea. On TUESDAY, FUCK. God wbc is fucking with my finals schedule. That's 3 hours I lose right there. Fuck. I'll wake up early tuesday, maybe 9-10ish(yea right). God I'm not gonna get any sleep, thank god I'm young. But yea, hopefully we destroy korea. Darvish should be going right? Yea no fucking way I miss that game.

Pre-final Planning

The last thing I want to do right now is study. Total crap is what this is. Putting a vacation after finals is kind of a damned if you do damned if you dont situation. If theres no vacation after, kids die. If there is, its pretty much the biggest distraction from studying there is. I have a japanese skit on monday i really dont want to do. I feel like presentations don't help you learn to speak really, all it is is just memorizing lines. An that memorization is space I need in my head for my other useless classes, as in chinese portraiture. Yea havent studied one bit, not all that worried given how well I did on everything else, but I will be really really sad if I blow this one now and don't get an A. I mean I've somehow managed to demolish the class somehow, to lose it at the end is the most painful thing that can happen.

My snytax final is already posted on the web. Due wednesday, hopefully I'll glance at it tonight, get started on it monday. Weak right, I need to memorize the skit and try and start memorizing images this weekend. Monday do the skit, and hopefully knock out half of my syntax. Tuesday finish syntax early in the day (won't happen, but this is how I plan), and then cram as much portraiture as I can. Here is the gayness though, wednesday I need to wake up early and go turn my syntax final in somewhere at stevenson. Then I gots to make my way down to eight where I'll do my portraiture final. Then my reward for this will be to study the rest of wednesday away on japanese. Thursday morning japanese final, then I take off for home, hopefully that same day.

So that is the plan. Yea, easily doable. Problem: this is me we're talking about here. The reality of it is this: today I'll fart around and not study. Tomorrow I'll do the same until around 11pm and frantically try and memorize the skit. MondayI'll do the skit, my group will be angry with my un-passionate/mistaken ridden performance, I'll probably glance at the syntax when I'm done, but nothing much more than that. Tuesday I'll panic like no other, do a rushed shitty job on syntax, pull an all nighter memorizing stupid pictures, and somehow make it through wednesday half alive. I'll blow off all studying for japanese since that strategy has worked for me before, hopefully it works one more time. I'll head home disgusted with myself, cursing my parents for giving me life, and debating what new games I should go waste all my money on in order to forget how miserable this school is. Thank god for ps3's, whatever would I do without them.

Alright since I'm on a roll with the academic depression I'm just gonna keep going with it. Next quarter is going to blow. So badly. Japanese 3 I'm not really looking forward too. Yea I was thinking the same about 2, and it was cake. Problem is though while I managed to keep pace in the beginning, lately I've been slipping a bit. Another quarter is gonna be dangerous. Plus motivation is always a problem, I've been seriously motivated to learn japanese so far, I'm questioning whether that enthusiasm will still be there. Syntax II is gonna be a bitch. I am fucking sick of snytax. I just don't care at this point. Sure, maybe it's interesting, but it's still pointless as fuck. People were not meant to question things like this, at least not this indepth. Then the last class, wait for it, Latin American studies. WTF right? only IS class open. I fucking hate GE's. I'm forced into so many goddamn classes I do not want to take just because I need to fill these stupid ass requirements. Ridiculi.

I really can't wait til break. Just so sick of school. So sick of everything. Bah. It's just a few more years tho. I fucked up my future once before by being lazy, I ought to try an prevent it from happening again. It really isn't easy though. I envy those who enjoy their college life. I envy those who enjoy their lives really, for that matter. I mean seriously, ever since I started middle school I've been a pretty fucking depressing emo kid. Always complaining, never satisfied, always wishing things were better. And sure, as bad as things are now, before was much worse. My mind was pretty fucking tortured before. Now I'm just a normal lonely kid. Too cowardly to change, stuck in the life he has created for himself. I truly admire people who are happy with who they are, and arnt ashamed of it either. People who know who they are and how to stay positive. I see these people and wish I were more like them, wish I had the courage to try and befriend them. I project coldness though. I instinctively avoid people. Yea, it's problematic. Some random dude said somethin to me while I was walking yesterday. I ferget what it was, just some kind of matter-of-fact thing to stir up conversation. It was fucking weird, and I reacted as such, sarcastically shot back "great, man" or somthing along those lines. He kind of looked embarassed/angry, and walked off ahead of me. So I dunno, why'd he choose to try an speak with me? That's not what matters, what bugs me is my response. Why did I have to be an ass about it. I could have just smiled and nodded or somthing. Could have indulged this stranger and attempted to give an honest answer. Instead I basically told the guy to fuck off. Who does that. I'm only nice when it benefits me, and even then it's rarely real. I'm pretty fucking mean spirited. How did this happen. When did this happen. I hate mean people, I'm completely drawn to kind people, so what the fuck happened to me. Guh. I ought to hide this post. It went on way to long. Whatever tho. I'll end it here. Good study break. Got quite a bit of frustration into here. Now I get to go build it all back up. weeeeeeeee.

wooo more baseball

NETHERLANDS WTF. seriously though, this is what makes wbc and playoff baseball so stupid yet awesome at the same time. anything can happen, and not just that, anything will fucking happen. If your dominican right now your cursing the format and the stupidity that is small sample sizes, if you're a bored person wanting to be entertained by the lovable underdog, such as myself, then yea you're loving wbc right now. Australia nearly had fucking cuba, how fucking crazy would that have been. Chris Snelling man! That guy was an A for all of like, what, one day or something. That was the jack cust year if I remember correctly, we had like 3 different outfielders in like 4 days until we found that cust guy. Something funny like that.

yaaay baseball

so whats happened. A's got o-cab an nomar. nothin to really get excited about i guess, but they came so cheap that it is pretty cool. Our infield actually looks fairly decent, strong devensively at least and some upside offensively with barton an nomar. I do like this nomar signing, feel like the guy should be able to hit if he can stay on the field. kinda funny the a's of all people signed cabrera an nomar. pair of hackers. as long as they make us better though, I don't really care about the method. not much else to say about those guys. I've always like cabrera's swing, think its really smooth and round looking for some reason. honestly, I haven't seen nomar swing a bat since he was good and a redsox (seriously now, what's singular redsox? redsock? doesn't seem right, otherwise theyd just be redsocks. retarded bostonians and their incomprehensible naming conventions). so iono where i get the idea that he can still hit, he was just so talented before, an its not like hes old old old, just kinda old. injureis can be brutal i guess.

on to wbc! japan owns! I was worred after the china game and being absolutely dominated by that sidewinder, but holy shit if they didnt stomp the shit out of korea. Almost felt bad for the so called "japan killer" kid who started. yea not really, but almost. Murata is my hero right now. Hits the ball hard, makes a good amount of contact, and has some pretty good hands at third base. Not all that sure about his range, but he cathes everything hit his way so far. was a ton of fun watching darvish pitch. never seen before. wasn't exactly dominating like I was hoping, but it is only spring so I'm hoping he improves a tad as the tournament goes on. daisuke just sucked yesterday. walking everyone, falling behind in counts, wasnt gettin anyone to bite on his splitters, which he threw a ton of it seemed. that homer he gave up on a 3-0 count was so embarassing. I mean that shit was annhiliated. other than those two tho, the pitching staff seems really deep. they got some really good arms in there. forgettin particular names at the moment, but it looked good. gives me hope, cause I do not expect another offensive game like the last one. team just has no power. murata is it. I crack up everytime I see aoki at the plate, that dudes swing is just ridiculous. works for him though, so whatever. ummm what else. The shortstop is fun to watch, seems like a all around kind of player. Wondering what happend to nishioka, he was crazy in the last wbc. from what i can tell, he had a bit of a breakout season last year, kinda dissapointing not seeing him on the roster. haha though now I look at it, Nakajima is just straight better, in all offensive categories at least. 937 OPS from your ss is pretty fucking sweet. Iwamura is probably a better player still too, so alrite, maybe next time nishioka, keep developing that power an we'll talk I guess. So now that I'm looking at NPB stats, I'm noticing something. They all walk like 50 times a season. It's weird. The slap happy weak guys walk about 50 times, the sluggers walk about 50 times, everyone walks about 50 times in a season. Though you know now that I look at funny swing aoki (42 walks last season), he was fucking awesome. 400+ on base an 500+ slugging. how the fuck did he generate that much power with that swing. 31 for 31 on stolen base attempts too, the guy is some kinda ball player. alrite i'll wrap this up. wbc has started, started well, an lookin good goin forward. tryin not to get my hopes up considering how meaningless this tournament style format is, mixed in with the fact that no one has any kind of timing down yet, but still excited about a run at a repeat world title.