Wednesday, January 21, 2009

...dual name personality?

Something frightening happened today. No, it had nothing to do with the new president. I missed it too, had an early class. Not that I was all that into it, takes a bit more than some dude with his hand on a bible to get me excited. I get it though, historic day, wakka wakka, sure I'll be happy for the country today. But anyway, I met someone from one of my classes, an we exchanged names and whatnot. The scary part, I introduced myself as Joji, didn't even blink, no hesitation, didn't even realize until 30 minutes after while I was walking. I just thought to myself, "wtf, I did not just tell someone my name is Joji." But I did. Weirdest thing ever. I've never thought of myself as Joji, but I guess since I've only known this dude in class, since my mentality is to react to "Joji" in class, that's who I felt like at the time. Fucking weird. My names are fucking weird in general. There's zero consistency. In class I'm Joji, out of class im Mikio, but with family an friends from back home I'm just Iz. Seriously, it leads to a ton of confusion, confusion I would rather not have to bother explaining to people I don't really care about. Maybe that's just me being an ass though. Doesn't change the fact that it feels weird though. Adopting a name I never used in the past, it just feels strange. I mean some part of me obviously is accepting it now, if I just unconsciously do this. I know it's just a name, not a big deal, but it's still really messing with me. I dunno, maybe some things just shouldn't be pondered. This being one of said things. Leads me nowhere, just kills my sleep.

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