Lose

So I'm basically two weeks into the quarter and I've already admitted defeat. Just cannot study! I really don't know what happened to me, I actually am doing very well in my classes so far, but that is all going to change very soon as soon as the difficulty ramps up. So tomorrow I will go to both my classes, and then hop on a few different buses/trains and make my way home. I'll spend the weekend, I dunno, sleeping. Playing my ps3. See if those damn berkeley kids are still on break. Basically not thinking about school. I'll try and get all the slackerness out of my system in one go. I doubt this is gonna work, but hell, worth a shot. My brain just feels confined right now. Bottled up somehow. It's a strange sensation, kind of like a cramp or somthing, but not exactly. Very weird.

I plan on getting a haircut this weekend. One of those mood changing events, you know. Sometimes something insignificant like that can alter your mindset somehow. Doesn't really matter what you change, as long as you feel different somehow. Yea I am pretty goddamn desperate right now. Seriously it's like all the optimism and talent I was riding on just a few weeks ago has deserted me. I don't think I'm bi-polar...I've witnessed that shit first hand I don't think I'm there, though then again self diagnosis doesn't really work. I dunno. Where'd the confidence go. Nothing just dissapears in this world. I'll get it all back somehow. I'll get my prior form back somehow. I just hope it's soon.